Things that make you go…ehhh???
As we were cruising down one of the main roads through town this morning, sipping our coffee and heckling the world in general, we came up behind a car that immediately captured our complete, undivided attention for at least five city blocks.
This giant green landboat was drifting down the street, going just slow enough to annoy us to the point of expounding about it.
“Check it out,” my husband says. “The car matches the people inside!” And sure enough. The old grey haired couple inside were perfect companions for this ungainly ‘76 Mercury Marquis. It’s the middle of June, and yet the back window still had the scrape tracks left in the dust from the last time they cleared the windshield of ice… say…. FIVE MONTHS AGO!
But the REAL coupe de grace was what we saw wedged behind their back bumper.
Smashed there, looking really no worse for the wear, between the moss green paint and dull chrome bumper… was some party cake. No, not just a smear. A whole piece of festive chocolate cake, frosting and sprinkles included! On a plate!
What series of events possibly lead up to this?!? Were these white-bread Americans at a good ole’fashion church Pic-a-nic yesterday? Did Henrietta walk around for the better part of the afternoon saying “Where’s my cake??!!!”
And how did they not SEE the massive wedge of frosted goodness sitting on the trunk lid when they waddled up to the Mercury to drive home?? And how long did it sit there, baking in the sun, hardening to the point that would make any brick layer proud? Obviously it had some uncanny density to it, or it wouldn’t look so peculiarly perfect staring out at us from kittycorner the license plate.
The Green Mercury duo finally slowed down (to a painful, agonizing crawl) in order to turn left into their church parking lot. Totally oblivious to their own Far Side’ishness, their bumpercake, and the world in general.
Hallelujah and pass the punch.
(The above is merely my own personal rendition of a sight that I wish I could’ve taken a photo of…but will forever chortle about in memory.)